My second Professional Fanboy column. And, yes, I was being a wee bit facetious.
Fanboy, Fen, Trekkie, Warsie, X-Phile, Xenite . . .
These all used to have negative connotations. In school, I only confessed to being either a fanboy or a Trekkie when confronted and/or coerced. Talking to a g-g-g-girl about my hobbies? Forget about it.
Want to get your ass kicked? Ok, tell another guy. Go ahead, tell one who plays athletics. I’ll wait for you.
Now, fast forward to the futuristic year of 2010. Want a geek girlfriend? Just go online. We now have our own geek dating sites. No, no, not those kinds. I’m talking about ones we don’t have to be ashamed of. But, and here’s the best part, you don’t even have to rely on dating sites. Now that girls have discovered the Interwebs, go to comic forums. Thanks to Twilight, you can’t even go to conventions without hitting on them. Er . . . well, not “hitting on them, hitting on them . . . .” 😮
Um, moving on. Those jocks I mentioned? You don’t think they’re into super heroes, now? Was it just us geeks that boosted the sales up for movies such as Iron Man or the Dark Knight? Ok, that’s actually a trick question, because the answer is pretty much, “Yes. Yes it was we geeks.” The only difference is that fanboys now come in an unlimited combination of flavors.
I remember once when I was about 14 or 15, the biggest kid in my grade came riding bikes by my house with a semi-mutual friend. They wanted to know if I wanted to play a game of basketball at another kid’s house. I invited them in while I got ready. Now, they were inside my Fortress of Solitude. I had let my guard down. How could I be so stupid??? Ok, so that day didn’t actually end with me being slam-dunked into a goal. In fact, I was elated to get out of it with only mild ribbing.
In fact, my large friend seemed sort of interested in the stacks of comics he found, leafing through them a few times while I got dressed. I like to look back on that day and think I might have fired the first shot in the war against Fanboys. (Of course, I think I invented the concept of the Redbox movie kiosks, but still. :cool:)
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Ok, now, lets try some couples-style counseling for those holdovers still bent on harassing us over some perceived weakness. Sit down with your detractors, and repeat after me:
“You like video games, right? Action movies? Comedy? Well, the same thing can all be found right here.”
On quite a few, you can even throw in this caveat: “You do know about all of those scantily clad [women or men, depending upon their preference].”
On some, and you know the ones I mean, you can just say, “Look, it’s like a book, but with lots of pretty pictures.”
Walk the mall, watch TV, drive down the interstate and look at the decals on truck windows. Check out the necklaces, tattoos, and cell phone cases. You’ll see the emblems for Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and now more than ever Green Lantern.
Ladies, like Ryan Renolds? Think he’d look good in some tights? Gentlemen, think Robert Downey, Jr. is funny as crap? Want to see what that American Psycho can do in cape and cowl?
The numbers don’t lie. The answer is a resounding yes. Now, fanboys and girls, join me, and let’s shove a big tall stack of Neil Gaiman, Grant Morrison, Geoff Johns, Brian Michael Bendis, or Gail Simone graphic novels into the waiting and welcoming arms of those I like to call, Fan-Curious.
Live long with the force, and may the prosperity be with you.